xoxo, rosette

Don't let anyone takes priority to your life when you are only just an option to their life.

I fully understand what is Monday Blues. I never felt this way for such a long time already and it is way worst than I thought. Tell me it's just a dream. Can?

Today is a disasterous day for me. Come on, I trying to get a life, pick one nice flower and put it on my hair and smile at everyone, even strangers. Now, I feel like I'm putting bullshit on my face and people thought I'm a fucking freak.

I know people are going to say that I am a fucking dumb piece of nothing if I have to say this in my blog now. But I don't care because my state currently doesn't make any difference if anyone comment that I am a idiot.

I am late this morning and my mum fucked me this morning. I run to the bus stop and catch up the bus 5 in time. Alighted at Novena bus stop as usual and wait patiently for Bus 966. Thanks to my colour lens, it blurred my vision since this morning. From far, I see no. Bus 966 from the electronic board. I see another guy carrying a bag and laptop, also boarding the bus. So I'm sure, it's bus 966.

I was touching up my eye make-up at the last row of the bus seats. The route doesn't seems to be changing yet until I finish my make-up. I looked around and see things that are totally different. I convince myself that it must be I'm asleep all the time while travelling in the bus, that I always miss this potion of the route.

I was wrong.

I ended up taking 985 instead and got myself at Bukit Batok. I know because I see the exactly same route to Reena's house for Deepavali visit. I stayed in the bus a little more while, thinking what should I do.

I tried calling my boyfriend and after a few miss calls, the probability is he's still sleeping.

So, I called Marcus. I walked around west mall like a cow and thinking where should I settle down.

Sushi? They're still making it.
KFC? Quite boring.
Subway? Favourite cookies for boyfriend.
BK? Brekafast.

Saw Marcus from far waving happily at me while I'm smoking off my blues.

" You look shag". He said.

What do you think? I feel like a complete fool.
And I'm not feeling ANY BETTER NOW.

Head off to school and feeling really happy when I receive a call from boyfriend. Doesn't sound okay and hoped he's okay.

In fact, both of us now are not okay.

I don't know. Don't ask me. I really don't know. I'm trying to know. But I just don't FUCKING UNDERSTAND OKAY.

I need fucking attention. And LOTS OF IT.
And I can be a bitch of that. In fact, I am one.

Now you see, I'm not going to type how I feel now here because it's not nice to see.

I need my trustees. =(

rose, sadden.