xoxo, rosette

hmm...he don't see me, he don't feel me, he don't even know that i'm there. That's the worst thing u hear when u've tried so hard...so hard. He don't know what im thinking, neither do i. Tried to understand, but i've no idea, why am i acting like a little girl. He told me he wasn't happy, but he loves me. And because he loves me, he wants me to find a better man. He told me that the love he's trying to show is to let me out, staying away from his sufferings, and find a better home.

Maybe it's nv enuff for him, or I just want too much from him, i don't know, and i hope somebody can tell me what was wrong, what went wrong. Yeah he's not happy, and thinks that i've forced him to be with him, saying that no matter what we'll still be tgt, unwillingly. Kinda sad cuz it's not that u didnt try, it was bcuz u tried too hard. Too impatient to see the results, to go on in a long term r/s.

Ytd was a...sigh. It was the 1st time I feel that one hour is such a such timing. Knowing what can makes him happy, we stayed tgt for an hour, my last request. We lie on the bed, holding each other's hand, looking at each others' eyes. I want to make use of that one hour and will not waste a single second b4 i run outta time. My tears dun seems to be stop flowing becuz i know it myself, after that hour, our magic will vanish in thin air. And it did, and I see that coming.

"you know...we can be best friend. We can find each other when we've problem...we can go shopping...we can....." I don't wanna listen anymore. Keep quiet and enjoy the moment. To kiss and hug u as much as i want b4 i cant, to let u feel that im there.

" I love you..."
"I love you too..."

Arent u sad when im not urs anymore? I asked. And his ans...just touched my heart.
He said I can find a better man and at least, you've loved me, i've loved you, and once mine. Nobody can deny, and one day, i'l slowly vanish in your heart.

But what Im very sure was, you won't vanish. You said u wont get outta my life completely. And i'll rmb you, and think of you.

And our happiness...disappeared.

My love...don't go.

rose.